02 March, 2011

10.15 on a Saturday night...

It was early December 1984 and I arrived to stay overnight at the Boston home of the family Moskowitz.  I'd been pretty sick that year, so I was knocking on the door of 45kg, and unused to North American winter extremes and ill-equipt for the snow, I was cold cold cold cold cold.

The Moskowitz house was lovely.  And the luxurious shower, as a combatant for the bone chilling, beckoned.  So as soon as I could extricate myself from the assembly, I shut myself in the bathroom, peeled off my too few layers and climbed into the glass cubicle. 

I was instantly confronted with taps like I'd never before seen.  As well as the standard hot and cold, there were pulse dials and intensity levers.  The environment oozed glamour but mostly eager to thaw, I vaguely twiddled a few dials and turned the taps on.  My expectations revolved around warmth, wetness and that welcome sensation where the cold is melted away, replaced by that lazy, glowing coziness.

Alas, the pressure instantly pinned me against the glass as water needles peppered my skin.  Naked and under assault, and in vain, I flailed and fumbled, desperately trying to repel the storm and reach the controls.  The coverage in the booth was impressive.  There was nowhere to shelter, no corner safe from the onslaught.  

Relief only came when I fell against the door, which somehow popped open, and I landed gasping and drippy, yet surprisingly otherwise unscathed, on the bath mat.

The exertions had warmed me up, though obviously in no way relaxed me, but with a clearer mind and without the pain, I opted to sacrifice an arm to the task of reaching through the evil globules and turning everything off.

It was this that leaped to mind when first confronted with the shower head in the downstairs bathroom House at Porter Street.

It was with great trepidation that I pondered those 15 jets, remembering how the seemingly benign can in actuality embody something unexpectedly  dangerous, ominous, forceful.  

Nothing to worry about in this case though.  The "TRICKLE" setting works famously. And "SPRAY" sends the water off at right angles to the nozzle, thus completely missing the target.

I'm sure there are vagieries of operation for optimal performance.  I'm yet to discover them.  I live, however, in hope.

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